What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Batman say to Robin before going into the Batmobile? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Want to here a joke? Then get off this site!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did i write this? I was bored

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops