School

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

Shit!

How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

Why didn't Steve finish his homework? He didn't want to.

Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

Ham sandwich

Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

What happens when you park a new Cadillac with a roll of $100 dollar bills on the dashboard in a black neighborhod? Many residents of that peaceful community will briefly glance at it and admire the wealth of the automobile's owner.

your mom is so old that she farts dust.

Life is an elephant, get married.

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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