Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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women's rights

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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