whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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