There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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