What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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This sentence is false.

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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What did the little boy get from his visit to Penn State? Raped.

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why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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