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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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you.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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