What happened to the little kid who went surfing? Answer: he gOt eaten by a shark

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Women's Rights

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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... i forgot the joke :p

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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