Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

What are we then hypocrites?

Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

Pianos.

Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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