What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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