What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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