Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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How old is your mom Dead

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Manchester City

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops