Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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