what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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What's the difference between Bobby and a plane? Bobby can be sexually molested.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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96

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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