Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What is a question?

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How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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