did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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You suck big fat slobber

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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