Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the fish say when he was eaten by a shark nothing fish cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

wanna hear a joke yo mamma just died

thumb_up thumb_down -41

yo momma so fat that she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stephen Hawking can walk

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

H2O corndogs running around naked CC

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops