A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Why did the girl fall from the swing? She was laughing at an anti-joke.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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What did one planet say to the other? Nothing. Space is a vacuum in which sound cannot propagate due to the absence of a matter or particle medium.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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