Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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