Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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