Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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You all have Aids

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#Hanging Degus

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What happened to the white girl who dropped her ice cream? She bought another one.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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