There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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If you replace all the letters in your name with G A Y it spells Gay... your gay

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2vFEq0M&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7nKXEePj87o/T5dBnSfhaBI/AAAAAAAAAHw/RNSE68GzbjU/s1600/Harry%252BStyles%252Bboy%252Bband%252BOne%252BDirection%252Barrives%252B1Tg3l2FYklYl.jpg&w=396&h=594&ei=2Y7HT6jnL4e69QSK2oW5Dw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=244&vpy=12&dur=543&hovh=160&hovw=106&tx=72&ty=122&sig=110416686013590693091&page=18&tbnh=160&tbnw=106&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:231,i:105

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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why did the frog cross the road it was stapled to a chicken

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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