An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

I had a dream I watched Inception.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

A man asks a young woman at a party if a rag smells like chloroform. She doesn't respond because she's passed out. He takes her to a nearby bedroom, rapes her, and leaves the party promptly. He'll probably victimize many other women with this method.

How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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