Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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42

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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You are joking right?

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-646-2835 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names travis

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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