Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops