there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

What'sucks and white Jackson

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

Doctor: Knock, Knock Patient: Who's there? Doctor: The interupting doctor Patient: The interruptin.... Doctor: You have aids.

Freedom of Speech

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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