A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna hear a joke? JORDAN SANDERS IN A RELATIONSHIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo momma so fat, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Fox News

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

ballsack

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops