Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Kellers dad? It was very funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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