Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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