How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a chest of drawers. The Englishman put a flask of coffee in the top drawer without even looking. Diane hates wrestling.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Reading books

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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NO! Nero created the MULTIVERSE During the sixth day... And on the seventh... He did not get any sleep or rest either...¨ SO THE GREAT EXPLOSION OF ENDORPHIN'S WAS CREATED AND IT WAS GOOD! Moral:"Seriously, get lost, only the trio of the Gods Me,Myself, and I, are worthy of this tribulation!

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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