So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -498

My butt!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops