What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Your social life.

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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