Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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With the exception of pigs, both pigs and blue jays can fly

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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( o Y o )

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops