Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats plastic and little boys turn it on? A game cube, and Michael Jackson. Well maybe not anymore since hes dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops