What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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69

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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