Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Republicans

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Women's Rights Movement

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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