How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Whats funnier than a black guy dieing? Everything thats not funny

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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