Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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What do you get when you cross a porcupine with party balloons? Unhappy kids

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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This one time at band camp....I put a flute in it's proper storage compartment.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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