What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Nothing they are disgusting and pollute your body with fats that are not necessary for you to live. -CNN.com 11.78534629/10 scientists agree with this fact.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but if you set him on fire, he'll die

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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