A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats werst than taking candy from a baby. Throwing a baby off a cliff then eating the candy in fronts of its parents

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does Billy hate waiting in line? Because he's impatient.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

thumb_up thumb_down +39

who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

666

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -26

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops