How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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version 2 knock knock, whose there FU CK FU CK who FU CK YOU

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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