you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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