A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock *No one was home*

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are black people afraid of white people? Over two hundred years of oppression.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops