A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Hi my name is Bob

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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