How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The government makes a good decision

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops