how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops