what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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