What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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24

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? Me too! I'm so proud of him!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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