Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Why was New Zealand attacked by Australia? New Zealand attacked Australia due to a teritorial dispute. The war lasted for 3 years with over 150000 deaths.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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