Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

dead battery come on down

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops