Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Bob dole

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What is the diffrence between a monkey... An apple because the more the much. :) :| :| :|

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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