penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? Ouch!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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