Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Fun fact: If you took the skin of an average person and laid it flat you would have enough to get a pretty serious criminal conviction, amirite?

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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A woman walks into a bar.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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lol

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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