What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear? A gorilla with with a banana in each ear? Unless it has a name, then refer to it by it's name. be polite.

What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

I pooped.

Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

What color is red paint? Red

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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