What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

you will like this because i am black.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A bird flew into a cave and Batman said, "GET OOOUUUTTT!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops