Hi

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Why the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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