A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why didn't the monkey fall out of the tree when someone threw a refrigerator at it? Because it was already lying on the floor dying of AIDS.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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a red boat and a blue boat collided all the survivors still have nightmares to this day

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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