roses are red, violets are blue.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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there is a fat ass bitch who lives in littlefield TX, her name...Krista. her facebook.... NannyGrizzly. I hate her!!! with a pasion... she was my neighbor... i can hear her yelling all the time. Please... someone give her a reason to yell. .................Facebook..........Nannygrizzly.......do....something.....about.......her.... thank you. Ima TROLE!!!!! hahahahaahhhahahahahahahaahha. damn it. (: v P PS. she is a bitch

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What's worse than the holocaust? anti-joke

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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