Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Women Voting

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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