Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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