Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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