A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

thumb_up thumb_down -29

in the begining... god made some stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I share two rooms with my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops