Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Roses are red Violets are blue Vodka is less Than dinner for two

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What's black and is hanging from a tree in my backyard? Avocados.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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why do you put a baby in the blender feet first to see its expression

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops