knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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What do you call a black person with dandruff.... A lamington

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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what's worse than the holocaust? black people whats worse than black people? mexicans Whats worse than mexicans? 2 mexicans Whats worse than 2 mexicans? Africa

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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long in the tooth!

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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