Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a gun Get in the van

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1unno;njfjk

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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