How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

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a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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