Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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i had sex.

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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What's pink and fluffy? PINK FLUFF! What's blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF HOLDING ITS BREATH!

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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