Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops