three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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DEATH.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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stop it ryan vallee

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Women's rights

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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