Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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www.xnxx.com

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Pinus Testicles

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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Religion

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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