knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Microsoft Windows

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -25

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -4

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so...um, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops