Miscarriages.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Women's Rights

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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What's worse than getting AIDS? Nothing.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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