What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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Your momma's so fat: she now considers her body to be a metaphor for post-industrial excess.

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So a dog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Quickly, someone give me the number for animal control."

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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women's rights

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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