hi

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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A Blonde arives at the airport late, and misses her flight. The airline provides her with a complimentary ticket for a later flight and she departs on that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops