Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A white boy who just got jumped, with sever bruises left lying in a pool of his own blood.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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