What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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