Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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How many beavers can you fit in one paddling pool? None; it's probably very dangerous trying

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Badgers are cool

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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