Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

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Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Steve Jobs.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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What's green and has four wheels? A dolphin. I lied about it having four wheels. I lied about it being green. I lied about the whole thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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