Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Homosexualism is so gay man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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