What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's Brown and Sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats red and falls from a tree an apple

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

God.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops