There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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PENIS that is all

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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