Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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k

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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