What do homeless people get for Christmas? Nothing, they are homeless.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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Obamacare!

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Brad Fuller!

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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