What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Why can't blondes change a lightbulb? Because they're women

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops