What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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