I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

Starter clothing

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

every cloud has a silver lining

Feminism

How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

Bob Saget

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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