A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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