How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. Unless they were having sex with my corpse.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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guess what no i know what your thinking, its NOT chickenbutt. its that tomorrow i have a math test. that sucks.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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