Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than a paper cut? Nine/Eleven

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops