What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Wanna here a good joke?

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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" I can't here you it's too dark!"

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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My Nan, that is all.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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