I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Whats is pathetic and just plain sad? Gas prices these days.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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