What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wade's the father

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was a boy. On his birthday, he got a small puppy. The puppy was white and had big eyes. Boy loved his puppy and the puppy loved the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -40

1. Go to the WRITE YOUR OWN! section on this website. 2. Check the box on "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service." 3. The Submit button should become available for clicking. 4. Now uncheck the box. 5. Thumbs up if the Submit button is still available. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops