Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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Why did the straight man turn gay? He didn't. He was always gay but had to hide this from his family and friends because of an overwhelming sense of homophobia in his community.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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