Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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