What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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I dislike old people.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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