What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

okay, there was a donkey and a parrot walking at the park. When it was raining the donkey says to parrot hey why is it so hot. Then a person riding bikes come to the parrot and she told her to sit down. Nobody saying hello but she can dance reallly nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops