What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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your mum

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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A man made a sandwich.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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Joe Biden

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops