Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

whats worse than failing your maths test?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

Justin Bieber got laid

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...