roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Three bars walk into a Jew.

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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