Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Cheese

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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