Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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Joesph Triphook.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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