A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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