Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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