What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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John Stamos.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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