How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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