Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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Q. What is the answer to life? A. 34

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Oh...okay, good.

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Abortion.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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