What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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liam buchan is gay !

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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