Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Why did the baby cross the road? 'cause i kicked it.

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24

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roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dying unloved.

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not doing your Webtime on a Friday!!

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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