What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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what'd one jew say to the other jew? i cant eat this its ham. (sounds better when said with disappointed jew voice)

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so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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Wombat monkey juice.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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