Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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