How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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do you have a wife?

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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