Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down +221

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are people racist? Thats a good question

thumb_up thumb_down -222

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops