The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

thumb_up thumb_down +10

CAS

thumb_up thumb_down -23

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops