What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

Your mom

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

ey can i pick your scabs plzz

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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