What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. -sensored-

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the WNBA

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops