How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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what happend when a blind guy tried to save a guy from a fire big mistake they both died

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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