Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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The government makes a good decision

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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