KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A whale walks into a bar, everyone says Hey, Ashely!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops