How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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W.N.B.A.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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