Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops