What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Justin beiber's penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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