yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue The mothership came and your did a whole lot of scam

NAACP

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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