What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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What do you call a banana? A banana.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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All Bin Laden wanted was peace on earth and good will toward men.

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Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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