What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats black and strange a paki

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops