A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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A jew and a black man walk into a bar the black man orders a screwdriver. The jrw asks him why did you order a screw driver.? The black man answer black:I enjoy screw drivers.

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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sdasdadasdasd

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How do you hold someone in suspense?

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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why is rebecca black? because it's friday.

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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