What do you call a Jew A Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops