Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

whats round and like a ball a ball

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

What's brown and sticky? Anal

Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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