How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET BEYOND THE SIXTH SENSE! 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :(

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Bark I'm a tree

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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