What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i found waldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, he isn't coming. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Gustavo Andrade

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

who has no willy? robbie kearns

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops