Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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