What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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what did bob say tothe ugly duckling? your ugly and a duckling

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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save water shower with friends

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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