What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

what smells worse then shit Drew White

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

what did the blind santa say to the jewish child jewish people don't believe in santa...awkward.

Q: How do you get a black guy out of a tree? A: You cut the rope.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

A black succeeds

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

7

I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

What's dead? Your mum.

Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...