What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Knock Knock WHO'S THERE?????!!! y u mad? u have been knocking at the doors for 5 hours now, mom

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Cliterus

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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