What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Yo mama so fat.

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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The WNBA

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops