Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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yo mama so dumb she got hit by a parked car. ~YN~

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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