what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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What is worse than failing a class? Dress up for grown-ups.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How do you know when someone tells a bad joke? You don't find it humorous.

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What's 9+10=? 19

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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