How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete jumped out, who was left? Pete, the boat blew up and instantly killed repeat

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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A black man walks into a bar, and asks the barman for a pint of lager. The barman refuses to serve him because of his race. This causes the black man and any others in the establishment to leave, considering this appalling behaviour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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