What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what's gay?? Lesbians

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock whos there punctuation

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops