What do you call a black man yelling into a crowd? a preacher

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

thumb_up thumb_down

How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops