Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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