Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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Why? Because.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Stephen Hawking

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

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Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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