Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Alchohol.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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I created darkness. God created the stars. God created the bee. I created the wasp. God created the child. I banged your mother. Moral: Soon my wings of darkness shall destroy your very own star, these words seem empty now, so I will fill them with true meaning and purpose as I will give the same to you the day the sky brightens no more.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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