yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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The Female Orgasm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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