What's round and orangey? An orange.

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Your social life.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What is shit? It's Deshitified already.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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