How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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sadf

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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69

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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