What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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Do you play piano? No

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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