Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +9

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops