Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life throws you lemons, duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Woman's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops