Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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why was 6 afraid of 9? cause thats just gross.

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Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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