Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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