What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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Dyslexics have more nuf!

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Person 1: I got a really good knock, knock joke. Person 2: Okay. Person 1: You start. Person 2: Knock, knock. Person 1: Who's there? Person 2: ...

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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