Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

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At first I was at the party and I was like YOLO!! But then I got pregnant and was like yolo....

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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have you ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops