What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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say yes will u remember me in a year?yes will u remember me in a month? yes will u remember me in a week?yes will u remember me in a minute?yes will u remember me in a second?yes knock knock whos there u said u will remember me u dick

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as the bar was made of metal and the man made forceful contact with the bar which resulted him in saying ouch.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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