What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is the difference between a baby and a rat? I don't have a rat in a cage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Face Hunter is scum

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a monkey? a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops