What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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HOLY COW!

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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