What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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What's 9 +10 19

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*insert joke here*

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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