Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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This is not an anti joke.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so horrible? I forgot the rest of the joke but your mum is a whore

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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