Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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