How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +13

diarrhea, diarrhea, duh duh diarrhea, I flush someone down the potty with my diarrhea Duh, duh diarrhea I want to marry my diarrhea duh duh diarrhea. Written by Niggalyncha666

thumb_up thumb_down -441

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My spelling is horrible

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Women's football

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Probably just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your momma's so stupid she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops