What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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