A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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