I just can't stand sitting down!

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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brett is a dick

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Do u liek mudkipz GO TROLLING

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Google Doodles

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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you will now laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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