Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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