In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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knock knock Goodbye

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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