A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +3

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops