- Anti Joke

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

how do you get the high score on doodle jump? jump from platform to platform without falling or being attcked by various monsters.

why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me sweating bullets Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

Dear pesky Christians... (mwahahahahaha!) if thy are of true faith then you have read that instructions book known as the bible you have had over (NINE THOUSAAAAAAND) Six thousand years to read right? If not, I dare you read this part of the bible, simplified for the common retard/human being, are you reading yet? Well GOD (and his seven koopa hotells) COMPELLS YOU so yeah... Stop reading Ave Maria for the 666th time, do you think God will go "Oh well at least you read the only nice part a billion times, you can serve me gy Luigi" and move on Do you remember the passage in the bible where God COMMANDED his men pillage the cities of his enemies, and then rape all the women and children before burning the whole place down to the ground? Now can you imagine it? "Sorry mam, sorry little girls and boys, we would prefer not to you see, but God COMMANDED us to rape torture and burn you all to the ground, nothing personal really, I mean I totally dont want to stick my "GIANT COMPLETELY ELLECT" into your "Vegetas" Seriously father prime was a mean guy, but yes God is dead, he died after releasing the Microsoft bible 2012 edition. (Yes seeker that is not completely true, but God was also the Omega you know... THE END? NO? DARE YOU DENY HIS WORD? Classy) (YES they rapeth young BOYS TOO, because WOMEN AND CHILDREN! Sodomy is bad, while those of you with some creativity can think of other means to rape a male baby because GOD COMPELLS YOU!" Enjoy your 15-21 years left on earth humans, and of course blame me for destroying your world with YOUR NUCLEAR WEAPONS! You say that wont happen right? YOUR KIN TORTURED CRUCIFIED AND CONSUMED JESUS IN HOPES OF GAINING HIS "IMMORTALITY" AND CELEBRATE HIS DEATH BECAUSE... His death by your hands was good... Because he died to prove his immortality... He said "consume wine and bread and thou shall live a full healthy life", (which at that time was better than all previous advices such as: "consume thy random mushrooms at the mountains and hope thy see no speaking burning bushes and dieth a painfulleth death as thy nervous system slowly and painfully expells thy last breath" or the one that came soon after, which seems to prove that humans where losing hope": "EAT SHlT AND DIE!" Buuut, then some "people" discovered that their full life was not long enough, heard about Jesus being immortal and all, and added something like "consume my holy balls, drink my blood, gobble on my entrails, drink my urine and..." ...Well do you truly believe that those that believed Jesus was immortal and as thus concluded that eating a piece of Jesus meant becoming immortal themselves would go all "Meh, you know what? Lets skip immortality, all the tasty bits are gone, so WHY did we choose to kill this guy over a known murderer anyway? Not to eat him... NOOOOOOOOO!" ...And of course YOU call ME THE ANTI-CHRIST!, what a pathetic attempt at humor, now if I had somehow chosen to crucify and consume my own brother because he refused me as I offered him water in the desert because he was dying of thirst and... (IT WAS A HALLUCINATION I WAS KILLED BY GABRIEL SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE REMEMBER?) I Your LORD Satan shall descend upon this world, and face... Jesus? Jesus promised to return while hanging from the cross and supposedly returned as a ghost three days later during his you know... Second coming... What are you waiting for? His third? MERRY FCKING CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! NOW GO CELEBRATE THE KILLING OF YOUR SO CALLED SAVIOR HO HO HO...Died for your.. sins to prove his immortality my ass, did he not crucify himself? No that was Judas. Nero The Rising Angel (yes your "MORAL" "MAN"): Did I mention all those "romantic" "erotic" stories in the bible, which are desciptions of "beautiful rapes" all described as the loving will of God as man raped woman after woman killing them afterwards while his comrades went all "IN THE NAME OF GOD AND LOVE! YAY!"... No? Well you are the Goddamn Christian, so if you dont fucking believe me, you sure as HELL wont end up in heaven for not even reading Gods words. (you know, where you serve God with no free will nor identity of your own, something you lost a long time before you died anyways so...). Final (unvertified probably not true FACT: The poor savag... Men forced/commanded by God to you know... asked God to perform a resserection on their, peeled bananas so they could finish thy godly deed, then someone mistranslated it into Resurrection as my brother got a giant boner on the cross and asked towards heavens "FATHER WHY!" Where "my daddy" responded lovingly with a giant thunderbolt: "translation: BECAUSE!"

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

Yo mama so fat she died

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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