Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops