How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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Time flies like a banana.

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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