How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Yo daddy!

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Gay's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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