Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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What do you call a hispanic and black man flying a plane? A pilot and his co-pilot.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Nicole Ritchie walks into a grocery store.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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