Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Why are Asians bad drivers? There Not. Have you ever seen Tokyo Drift?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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