a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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Why are there so many black men in the NBA? Because they trained hard and practiced regularly to get there..

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb in WW2. None, the Nazis toke away the power and left them to die a Horrible and painful death.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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