What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

Q: What is black, white and red all over? A: Interracial sex during the time which the bible has decreed as abhoration.

What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

German sausage is the wurst

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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