What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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What did the frog say Magican? Ribbet.

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knock knock... whose there? I don't know why don't you open it and find out dumb ass... Gosh people and their common sense these days!!

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Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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