A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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