Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is not fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Gordon Brown smiles.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down

Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops