how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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Who wants water? I do.

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange. Orange who? The orange that can talk and knock on doors.

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What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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