How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Justin Bieber.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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In Soviet Russia, joke tells YOU! ...because that is the syntax of the language.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race, she died in a fire.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane? A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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