Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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RUN

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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I am quite mature.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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