Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Sac

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops