Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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A man goes into a bar and gets drunk. He realizes that he is too drunk to drive and calls a cab to bring him home.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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"Honey im home!" but his honey was dead on the floor along with his 3 kids.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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