What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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CRY

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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JFK

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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