a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Who wants water? I do.

how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

what's worse then a blowjob?

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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