Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

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what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

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An ordinary man, much like your friend Brad from that one place where you used to hang out, was walking along one night, much like that night last week, and saw a star. He then wished upon that star...and kept walking.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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