what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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