How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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