If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My friends are like trampolines I have none

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops