Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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So, I was eating out this girl Until I tasted something like horse semen. So I looked up at her and said; " Ah grandma, so that's how you died ! ".

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why did brad pay the sexy looking librarian with a big smile on his face? Becouse brad returned his books to late and had to pay a fine for that. The librarian made a joke about the fact that it was a waste of money to return the books late.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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How are you this morning?

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Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops