How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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