How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

What happened to the woman who was raped? She was mentally scarred for life and finds it hard to trust men.

a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

what's red and horny a red unicorn

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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