In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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