What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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Jack Stevens

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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