whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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