Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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I went to work today....

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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these are shit

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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