What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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Q:What the worst lie you have ever told??!!???!?!?!?!? A: I have read and agree to the Terms and Service

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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What is the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Jews are a religious group. Boy scouts are a group of boys who enjoy camping and other outdoor activities.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights.

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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