Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is brown and wet? Muddy water

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

thumb_up thumb_down +43

bob saget

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops