What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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5 people are walking

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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Woman.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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Yo momma so fat she went on the Subway diet and is now exercising regularly to lose weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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