Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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#Getweird

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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