Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Blind people can't read this.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops