What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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ginger

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What would u like to drink?

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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