Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The women if the wnba are good at basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My hair is thin, therefore the person beside me wears oddly looking clothes CC

thumb_up thumb_down +5

guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +14

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops