What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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