When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This difference is due largely to the alteration of the white light wavelenght as it excites the electrons in both flowers and the absorption of most of the other colours of the spectrum.

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Reed is poopin

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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