Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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yo yo yo Niggaz Lol I really didn't have a joke but I REAAALLLLLYYY wants to gets #1 joke so PLEASE like this

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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