What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does a gay take his pants off? Just like everybody else

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops