I am quite mature.

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Obviously way more than is considered acceptable or safe, considering his recent public outbursts and problems with addiction.

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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nick toth

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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sadf

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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1

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Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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