rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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AIDS

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Please ignore this statement.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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