Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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I think everybody ought to have a penis.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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my wife out of the kitchen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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An atheist walks into a church

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Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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A black guy goes to the bar. The Barman say: What would you like to drink?

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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what does the sloth say to dylan sedgwick nothing dylan is the sloth

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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I saw a shovel once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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