Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops