What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Hashtag

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

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The Irish man was sober.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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