Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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