What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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modern love

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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hi will

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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