I killed someone today. :D

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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