Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a black man? Jamal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops