How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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7

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Goodbye Nero, it is good to see that you are the man that we still admire so much, except better, wiser than we thought you would be, stronger, if broken inside by unhappiness, you cannot change this world into what it could have been, and neither should you take that burden upon your shoulders anymore.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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