Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

what kind of dog can tiptoe

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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