PEANIS!

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy walk into a library. They were getting help from the Asian guy on their math homework.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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