Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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ME NAME IS JEFF

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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