A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

i died. new product by steve jobs

Dislike this.

this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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