what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +51

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's blue and white and can't climb a tree? A fridge in a denim jacket!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,979

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

thumb_up thumb_down +20

WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -9

there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops