What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Asians

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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