Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -27

68

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why didn't the little black boy have a father? A: because he unfortunately died at the age of 48 with pancreatic cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

24

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops