What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

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What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Your mama is so fat that when she farted she called it global warming

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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