What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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