A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A man comes home to find his wife sleeping with another woman. He molests them both.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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