What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family...

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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