how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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