Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time, your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Jesus Christ walks into a Hotel.. he hands the Inn keeper 3 nails and says " Hey..can you put me UP for the night?"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down -12

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you cancer, make cancerade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops