How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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