An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +38

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops