What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie

So you're walking through the desert and the wheels fall off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 13 because baseballs can't have babies

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

Seth stock has a large penis

What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Wright flyer

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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