Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops