Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops