a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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How about that airline food?

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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i'm not gay

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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What's the differrence between a park bench and a black person... A park bench can support a family

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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