A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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Nippies

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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