What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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Golf.

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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