Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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The dewey decimal system

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How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Women's Rights

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time to spruce up!

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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