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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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roses are red violets are indigo

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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