Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and has wheels a red car....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

the game

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Come In.......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops