What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

Obama.

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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