My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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lol

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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