What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What's the difference between Dick Cheney and Obama? When Obama shoots someone in the face it's bin Laden.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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roses are red leather is black when when god made you he was smoking crack

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops