Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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A straight man walks into a lesbian bar. He quickly realizes his mistake and leaves.

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Two muffins are in an oven, and one muffin says to the other "It sure is getting hot in here". the other muffin says "holy crap, a talking muffin."

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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25

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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girls basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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