why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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9/11

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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