Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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knock knock your gay

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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