If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

What hurts like hell? HELL

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...