What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Waffles ate my grandma

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Nothing yet CC

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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