Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Legal Mexicans in Texas

what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

Where does a homeless person live? No where

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thats what she she. no really thats what she said

what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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