An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Why was the boy un-able to talk He was retarded

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? A family friend paying a visit.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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