why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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when geese fly in a V patteren why is on side longer than the other? not as many geese on that side

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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knock knock who's there? faith

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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