What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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What do you get when you cross a sponge with a Bob? Spongebob.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were going for a walk. They spotted some tracks, and stopped to inspect them. "Those are train tracks." The blonde noted. They agreed, looked both ways, then crossed safely over it.

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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