An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Nah

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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