What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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What's worse than this That :(

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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