So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Star Wars

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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What do old people really like? Sex.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Man 1: Your lifes a joke Man 2: Your talking to yourself Man 1 klled himself Man 2 had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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