how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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