Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's 9+ 10?! 19

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Paul Dylan King!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once you go black, you have a high chance of being in an interracial relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between the Pope and acne Acne doesn't get onto a kids face until they're 13

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +62

So these two girls have a cup .

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops