What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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Nickelback.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Seven was black

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What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Charlie Sheen

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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