To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Breast cancer.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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