What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

thumb_up thumb_down

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -30

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

thumb_up thumb_down +11

lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Chicken penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you find....... there's a..........

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops