roses are red violets are blue my dick hurts blue waffles

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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Ancient Greeks rights

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh.. Okay.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Nickelback

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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Your big dick.

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what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

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Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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