Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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What did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? I want to eat you.

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Everybody will die

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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