What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Yes, it's for the patiënt in the other room.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

A boy with red hair is happy.

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

KSI

How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

69

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...