Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Patrick is gay

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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mark is religion

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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