The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What has 4 legs and cant walk? A paralyzed dog

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What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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