Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause he couldn't afford to pay the gas bill.

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A delicious and hearty breakfast that lowers cholesterol and is good for the heart

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Fox News.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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