- Anti Joke

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

Dead girls can't say no.

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

The jets are a good team..

Black People

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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