Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

women outside of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

nathan palmer has a big head !

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops