Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

Soccer...

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

What do you call 5,000 black people at the bottom of the ocean? A large quantity of African Americans who drowned to their death in the sea.

Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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