If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. He is not served any alcohol because he is not yet 21.

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Hey

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What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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