How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Politics

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

http://www.youtube.com/user/SWkangaroo

What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

Womens basketball

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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