what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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What's red and u drink it Koolaid

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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I work at jcpenny

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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