How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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#Getweird

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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q

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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