Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his village.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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