Q: Whats blue and fluffy A: Blue fluff Q: Whats brown and fluffy . A: The bear that killed my parents.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

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, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Stop being a centipede

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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