Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

c-? men, C-men

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What color is my lamp? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Loading...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

12

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops