Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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I died shortly after writing this.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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A

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I work at jcpenny

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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