Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What do you get when you mix a mexican and a frenchman? A person of mixed racial heritage.

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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