2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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