Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Freedom of Speech

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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