My friends are like trampolines I have none

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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women's lacrosse.

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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