Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops