Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops