What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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