why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -41

LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

thumb_up thumb_down +34

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops