Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you find at the top of mountains? things

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

No. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the donkey fall over Because it had A diabetic foot infection and had to have a non traumatic amputation of the lower hind leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops