How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Hello penis

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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No

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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PENIS

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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