numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Cripples are lame.

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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The Economy

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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