What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Obama

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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