Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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