Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Abortion.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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smell the vitamin C

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? You don't pokemon are fictional characters

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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