One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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Dylan is gay

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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