What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Women's football

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cheerleader get on Holloween? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because Martin Handford drew him that way to make him unique and distinguishablefrom the hundreds of other drawn people (and animals) in the pages of the children's game book, which incidentally is known as Where's Wally in numerous non-USA countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

oops

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops