My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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k

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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