Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops