What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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96

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A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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What do you tell a woman with two black guys? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partners and seek help.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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