"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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Hi

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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The holocaust

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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