Q

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Republicans

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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