John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

Your Mom is so fat... Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

Cripples are lame.

A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

I have no joke. u mad?

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...