What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Penis.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Two friends go on a hunting trip together. One friend says to the other "Knock, knock." The other friend doesn't respond because he was mauled by a bear.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Poop

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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