Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Mrs. Welsh

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Black Veil Brides.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops