Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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What do you get when you multiply a trillion times a billion times a quintillion? A huge ass number.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops