Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

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I like my 40's like I like my women, in ABUNDANCE.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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your life

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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