A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What kind of cookies does a pedophile order from the girl scouts? Samoas...pedophiles love coconut.

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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am i invited to party? no

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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Yo mama is so fat that it is obvious obesity runs in the family.

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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