What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the world. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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A deaf man sits down puts on his headphones presses play on his ipod starts to nod his head and realises what he has just done

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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What's 9+10? 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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