Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Two black people passed me in an alley at night...... They said hi

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Roses are red Cranberries are tart It sure stinks when you fart

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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