What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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