I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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Women's rights.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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Whats the difference between Tina Turner and dead babies? I have never fu*ked Tina Turner before.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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