I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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Your adopted

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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