Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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What do u call a short Mexican Nothing that's normal

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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I am a nigger.

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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