Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

sixty....eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops