Hi

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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