How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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