What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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sexual intercourse.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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Q: why did the plane crash? A: because jack daniels equals 7

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Canada AYY

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops