Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

I am black.

an dislexik nam rwote hits

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

women's rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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