What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock Knock, Who's There The Chicken

Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

What's not red? No tomatoes.

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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