My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? 17

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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Q: What's worse than being forced to eat your veggies? A: Being forced to kill your parents with a carrot.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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