What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What's the difference between medicine and astronomy ? They're different fields of studies.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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