“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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1:Knock Knock 2:Who's there 1: Your cousin tyler He was then brought in with the rest of the family to celebrate Thanks giving.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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