Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? "Hey, what's up?"

Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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