A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Racial Equality

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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