When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The game.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops