Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A: What happened to the snake? B: It died

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Whats worse than falling down the stairs? Falling UP the stairs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Whatever his parents named him

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? Someone else's cheese.

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Your Mother

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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