knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Why did Miss Parkinson get hit by a bus? Because it missed Justin Bieber by a few inches.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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