- Anti Joke

once upon a time there was a boy

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

Dissing the bible just 4 lols: Relax chill edition. -First, I have "crossed" the gaza desert ok? It took me seven minutes walking SLOWLY, yet with God as a guide Moses took 40 years? WHY? The desert was generally smaller then! -Eat my body and drink my blood and thy shall live eternally, I admit that eating well such as bread and a bit of wine daily is good for ya, thanks jebus points for you. But is eternity a number in the bible? Or does eating just bread and alcoholic wine truly grant one immortality? Nope sorry impossible. Buuuuuut, if a piece of Jesus brought immortality, then its canibalism, and the bible is meant to be followed to the letter, not symbolically. -Thy shall not steal: Jesus "borrowed" donkeys at random, his peeps asked but isnt that wrong? Jesus answered the lord shall give them a donkey anew. (so give me your car, God shall bring you another, you wont claim your little lord stole and lied huh? -Jesus murdered some tree because it gave him no fruit, you know at wintertime where trees do not bear fruit? Thy shall not kill unless thy are Jesus? -God: Drowned almost all= Worst serial killer ever? -Why do churches "the house of God" need money constantly? Is God that poor? -Only those that hate their mother and father might follow Jesus? While only those that love thieir parents can follow God? Well okay "new" testament is some sort of update like windows I get that... Kinda. .-When Jesus shouted "Father/Lord WHY!" while agonizing on the cross God answered with a lightning bolt? What kinda trucking answer is that? Poor poor Jebus. :( -God makes no mistakes, he just regrets creating humanity his greatest mistake? :( -God had existed forever right? One day he said let there be light, so he spent eternities in total and complete darkness? Aww man! -Why Is Satan the antichrist, he offered Jesus water at the desert, humans crucified tortured and killed him, talk about tossing blame the wrong way. -Humanity created Sin, God had to murder his own son in order to break Sin, do humans have power over God via Sin? -Jesus died in order to prove his immortality, okay, but why all the torture? What did that do? -At one battle the army was led by God holding a sword himself, but they had to retreat once they reached the mountains because the enemy carriages where plated with steel? God lost against steel? Ok Ok... -Jesus said on the cross that he would return, three days later he did, you waiting for his third coming? -The bible was changed by priests for the last time (for now) roughly hundred and fifthy years ago by priests? Why? Priest are to serve God, not to use his power for their own, fuck priest... -God clearly states that one shall not put any God before him, is he admitting that there are others, or that we can believe in others too as long as we dont allow our fait in them to surpass his? -Why is God a jealous God? Why do we follow a dude whose intentions "are shrouded in mystery?" How can THAT be the answer we seek? -Love thy neighbor: Which one? (lol). -Enough for now, except "eat only four legged animals such as the lobster (which has at least six legs, lol)

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

Want to hear a joke? So do I.

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

So these two guys are in this barn f!@#$%^ this owl! no terms of service were available but i posted anyway cuz i just didnt want the best anti to be missed!

A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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