What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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baby seal walks into a bar

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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