How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Romney 2012

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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