What rhymes with you? You.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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I love boobs

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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