If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama is so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops