Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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I love you very much.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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try to find the 1 thumbs up if you find it! 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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops