How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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yo mama's so fat, she wears a big belt

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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