What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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An Asian with a big dick.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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