Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

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women's rights

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Smeg...

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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