WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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Hail Hitler

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops