Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your momma is so stupid shes fricken retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call Americas first black president? A change.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops