What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Penis

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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