What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Whats worse than getting a B+ in Biology? Getting raped by a scorpion.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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A bar walks into a man

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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