Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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Why are people racist? Thats a good question

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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