Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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if it's friday, it must be China

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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