why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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This is the concept of anti-joke.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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A horse walked into a bar and ordered a drink. It was nothing out of the ordinary because the Everett-Wheeler interpretation of quantum mechanics is correct and he lived in a parallel universe in which the roles of humans and horses are reversed.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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