What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why was the black man scared to leave his house? Because he saw a load of mutated zombies outside his door trying to kill him. However, he realised that this was not possible and was not scared anymore. He went outside but got hit by a fridge and died...

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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Q: Why wouldn't the other kids play with Timmy at recess? A: Because he was a burn victim and had no face.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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