What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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