They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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