What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

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Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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the bible

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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A black guy with his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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