You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops