What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Feminism.

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Doorbell salesman.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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