A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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