How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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what did the cheese say to the other cheese nothing cheese can't talk

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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Me: Knock Knock! You: Door's Open!

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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What's the deal with brown?

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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