Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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What's the difference between a red cube and a green cube? Nothing, I'm color blind.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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