A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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. Deez nuts Ok

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Two hillbillies are sitting in a van. It's friday and one of them suggests they should play a game of 20 Questions. The other one agrees. The first hillbilly thinks of the word 'donkey dick'. - Is it something you can eat? the second hillbilly asks. - Yes, the first one replies. - Is it a donkey dick? - Yes.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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