what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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porn-hub

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Okay, one second.

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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a man walks into horse bar

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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i killed my family

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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