What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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