Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops