What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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What is black, white, red and blue? ..... A cow dressed as superman.

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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