Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Your Momma is so fat that she will most like lose a leg to diabetes which is totally preventable if she eats a well balanced diet. I hope she loses weight. Say hi to her from me please.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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No.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Cripples are lame.

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Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Women can vote? wtf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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