i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Nick Cannon

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

Patty cake. Which was a pretty funny catchthingie.

What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

agp

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

how do kill a black guy? shoot him in the face

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance addiction, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life and was apalled by his bad decisions.

Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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