What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Q) Whats wet fishy and gets caught by fishermen? A) fish.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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