How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's long, hard, and filled with semen? A submarine

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What is cowboy say

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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