Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

Women's rights.

What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

Click click ,scroll scroll. Bro you wasted your time. -Troll Lord

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

What did the deaf person say to the comedian? ... ... ... ... I'm sorry, did you say something?

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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