Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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