why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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A redhead walks into a hairdressing salon and asks to have her hair dyed black due to being a subject of bullying and social rudeness.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Atheism

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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poop

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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hi bros hahahhah like it up, ah ma gkenny

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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