So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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I pooped my pants

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Whats the different between a black man and white man...... the different levels melanin in the skin that results in pigment

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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