What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Why are black guys good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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