What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops