How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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women's rights

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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