Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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whats the biggest ever snake found ? i dont know i dont study snakes :O

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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