Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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where does a person with one leg work? anywere

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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