Cancer

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: A sad, unfortunate dog.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

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what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

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you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops