Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

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Nah

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Womens rights

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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