Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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one swipe, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAH! know what i mean, Paul....are you ok?....nooo...., you know the lettuce in antarctica is pretty questionable

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops