Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

The ability to live the life of a dead person.

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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