My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Adam Sandler.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

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Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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A man in an airport asked me if i wanted my bag to be carry-on. So i said yes.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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What is worst about the great white shark? It's hundreds of sharp teeth, strong tail, or subtle racism? Probably the teeth.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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.....Carrot Top....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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