What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy. A 6 inch long 2 inch diameter syringe filled with heroin being injected into a woman.

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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Religion

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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What is the difference between therapist and the rapist? A space.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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No. Yes.

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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