Women rights..

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Today is March 22.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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My penis is big... not.

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Bacon is delcious.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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