How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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