A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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