Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

3 penguins meet each other in penguin #1's backyard for a pool party. The first penguin climbs up the steps of the water slide gets to the top, looks around and then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The second penguin climbs up the steps, looks around then slides down the slide *SPLASH* The third penguin hastily climbs the steps and slides down the slide radio -Soulbroker

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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