A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

, , /^\ ___ /^\_/ `...' /` ,__\ ,' ~ ( ,___\ ,, ., \ \___ \\\ .'.' .-. ) .'.-\\\`.`. '.-. ( / (==== ."". ( o ) \ ,/u `~~~'| / `-' ) "")^u ^u^|~| `""". ~_ / /^u ^u ^\~\ ". \\ _ /u^ u ^u ~\ ". \\ ( \ )^ ^U ^U ^U\~\ ". \\ (_ (\ /^U ^ ^U ^U ~| ". `\ (_ _ \ )U ^ U^ ^U ^|~| ". `\. (_ = _(\ \^ U ^U ^ U^ ~| ".`.; (_ -( _\_)U ^ ^ U^ ^|~| "" (_ = ( ^ U^ U^ ^ U ~| (_ - ( ~ = ^ U ^U U ^|~/ (_ = (_^U^ ^ U^ U / (_- ~_(/ \^ U^ ^U^," (_ = _/ |^ u^u." (_ (/ |u^ u.( (__/ )^u^ u/ /u^ u^( |^ u^ u/ |u^ u^( ____ |^u^ u( .-' `-, \^u ^ \ / ' .---. \ \^ u^u\ | ' ` ; | \u^u^u:` . `-' ; | `-.^ u`._ _.'^'./ "-.^.-```_=~._/ `"------"' Seahorse

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the kid fail the test? Because he was retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the dog eat poop?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +87

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the chicken cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops