Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +3

you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops