sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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I wish you were never born. Me too. Then I wouldn't have been raped today.

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Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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have safe sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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