Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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A black guy WALKS out of prison.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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