A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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A black guy with his family.

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Who is worse than Justin Bieber? Hitler

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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so...um, yeah

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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hit the thumbs down button

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Nicolas Cage

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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