Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Just found out that it doesn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

its funny cuz i laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops