A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Janey Had her first kiss with Jonny. Jonny choked on her ridiculously large was of gum and died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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