A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops