Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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Your mama so stupid, she put 2 quarters in her ears and said she was istening to Fiftycent

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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Racial Equality

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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