Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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