A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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