Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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I have a horse.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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charlie sheen

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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