Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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Matty B

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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