Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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