Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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NEVER

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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