The Pittsburgh Pirates

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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