Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Nicholas Cage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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