What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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Penis

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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People with cancer.

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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