Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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WHAT????

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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