why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Heartlight

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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throbbing slobber

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Manchester City

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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