Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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No just stuff on the internet when I get bored, like on facebook and stuff, why a nurse? Whats wrong? Is he ill?

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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How did the two friends cross the busy road? They couldn't, because that would be considered jay-walking

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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