How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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My mom.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Throw a fridge at it

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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women

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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