- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross a horse with a house cat ? A law suit for animal cruelty

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

We are sorry for being so sorry, and apologize again for apologizing so much... Why wont you just let me apologize? Does this insult you? I apologize. HEY! STOP THAT! I SAID I WAS SORRY SORRY FOR BEING SORRY! FORGIVE ME PLEASE SORRY WHY ARE YOU DRAWING THAT KNIFE OUT OF THE... LISTEN I AM SORRY!!! From my book the boy that cried help too much: The help arrived and the boy was never seen again. TRIPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING! QUADRUPLE POST TO SAY SORRY FOR DOUBLE POSTING...ETC.

Wumbo

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

there is a black guy riding a bicycle. he is extremely skilled on it and says he has never fallen off.

What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

what happens during a climax apples

a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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