Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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i dont like attention whores lol

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hi

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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