How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

What did the man on the moon say? Nothing. He died because his supply of oxygen ran out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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