A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? ..It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

if got a joke if fogot it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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