what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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