Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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