What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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