Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin get in the car"

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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How old are you? 7

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, we're taking your house. This is a vacation notice, please be out of the property in 30 days. Have a nice day.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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