What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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