What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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69

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There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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