What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Yesterday i had a conversation with my husband. I asked him if he slept with another women. He said yes

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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