Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Is maynaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hi charles lattuca III

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The black guy because the Mexicans was recently aressted for a dwi and had his repealed. But lately he has worked towards cleaning his life up. They were actually driving to an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops