Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

._____________________. Whale!

Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

When is a joke funny? When you read it.

Military intelligence.

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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