a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

pizzano is a tool.

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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