Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Obama.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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Women's Rights

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops