Knock, Knock. Come In.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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