Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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what did the blind kid want for christmas? world peace.

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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