They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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My butt!!!!

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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Heartlight

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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