Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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I asked her where you were.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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what did the blind man see? Nothing he felt the penis in his butt.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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