Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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