What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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12 in general

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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