Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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69

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

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How tall is the grass in Germany? ZIS HIGH! *put hand about an inch and half off the ground* I mow it about every ozher week

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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