Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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What the hell are you doing?

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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