So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops