Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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no rasist joks

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Roses are red Jeffrey's a nigger A refrigerator is white But Jeffrey's not a refrigerator. He's a nigger.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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yo mamas so fat that when she wears a bathing suit people go "wow, that women is fat"

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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