What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's white and black? Color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -13

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -8

42

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

thumb_up thumb_down

A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops