What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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whats worse than being payton johnson being black

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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