once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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