Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

men, men like men= men+bed

What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

Drew Knowles is gay

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

GONNA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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