What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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What are we then hypocrites?

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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