A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Hey, Have you Seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he!

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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