Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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