How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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why did the guy with cancer die? because he had cancer

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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