''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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A man penetrates another man.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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