What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

just in time?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops