Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Obamacare

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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go go gadget

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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