Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Your Face.

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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