From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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c-? men, C-men

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops