What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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WILLY

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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what did the horse say to the bartender? why the short face?

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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