Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Brain fart

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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A blind guy sees a nuclear bomb.... he dies.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops