Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I'm not quite sure. I only took one year of Japanese in high school.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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