What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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Dwight Howard

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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One day i had to piss. I went to the bathroom.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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