Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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Why couldnt the black guy swim? He couldn't swim because he had no parental figures growing up. His dad was part of a gang and his mom was a crack addict. He had noone to teach him how to swim.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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