Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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A scottish man having fun

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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who is mark

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How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Knock, Knock ..... ..... No one is home, they've been evicted.

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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My Nan, that is all.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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