My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What happened to the black jew? He went to college and died in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are Red Violets are Purple But nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops