A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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