Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What's the difference between a 1980 mustang and a pile of dead babies? I don't have the mustang in my garage.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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