What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What is the same about fries chicken and watermelon? There both delicious.

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What is the difference between a man and a woman? Genitals

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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