A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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So a Jewish man walks into a bar, You think Jesus being all knowing would have realized it was there.

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Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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