Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +101

what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Thats impossible because he cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops