Q: how many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: two, one to hold the ladder securely and the other to screw in the lightbulb.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Jellybeans

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pineapples

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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knock knock hows there sorry but i was to lazy to think of an ending

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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