roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

who drinks pee? katness

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You know what's funny? Clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man and a woman are happily married. The die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops