What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Yo Mamma

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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