Whats long and hard? a pole

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made. This market has a very dynamic and fresh selection.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

Why did the plane crash? There was a horrible mechanical error that caused the main engines to fail.

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? A naked chinese man jumping out of your trunk to beat you with a crowbar.

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

why the woman scream when she arrived at her surprise party? Everyone was dead!

Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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