I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What did the girl say to the other girl? Nothing. She got hit in the head with a pineapple

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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