Where did the banana go? -Nowhere, a banana can't walk.,

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings! What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Adelle....

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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