Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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