How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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So I was walking down the road today

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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