Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. A worm in your apple.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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