why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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Spotto

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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You might be a redneck. Sorry.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Women's rights

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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The queen having a shit

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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