What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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