Man: Hey honey! you look mighty fine today! Want to go play some lax? Woman: I'd love to! Thanks babe! Man: Just kidding you are a woman.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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