A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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My friend came in the barber's shop and asked me to cut his hair for him, i always have rude banter with him and i made a joke about his big bate nose. He acused me of calling him Jewish and threatened to sue me. This is how i found out that he was a white supremisist.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

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cancer

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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knock knock whos there rock rock who rocks dont knock stupid

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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