How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Obamacare

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -41

whats long and stretchy? elastic

thumb_up thumb_down -3

go go gadget

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops