What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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hi

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Ass

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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