A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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Canada

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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anti jokes aren't always funny on here

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Women's rights

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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