Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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roses are red violets are blue pornhubs down your mums facebook will do.

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yfygcugyuyc

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Why was i said when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Period Blood

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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