Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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my whole life!

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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This is not a good joke.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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