What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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What did the man with one arm get for Christmas? A benchpress

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Hi? No!!!!!

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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womens rights

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? The video game he really wanted.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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feces

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What's a black man's favorite food? It depends.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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