- Knock, knock - Who's there? - Police - I'm not home!

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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