scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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