Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Kim Kardashian.

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roses are red violets are red? trees are red!? who the hell cut themselves?

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Three men are in prison and comparing crimes. The first says that he got three years and he never robbed that store. The second says he served six years and he never hit that lady. The third said he got life, and he killed every child in that orphanage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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