how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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TIMMAH!

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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