A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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Why cant you see black people when you are playing hide and seek? Because they are in a very good hiding spot

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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