What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops