What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down +27

anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

thumb_up thumb_down +605

Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops