Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What starts with P and ends with orn? Porn

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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who do we all like george goodburn

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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