what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Women's rights.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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