why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why doesnt a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops