A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

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White men's rights

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops