HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -10

sorry got to poo

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops