What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Get in the van

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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how many dead babys can fit in a bathtub 17

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Hello everyone, if you couldnt tell, the most popular joke was removed because it wasnt even an antijoke, if you have a joke that isnt an antijoke, post it somewhere else, if you dont know what an antijoke even is then get the f*ck out, thumbs up if you agree with me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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