What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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An Irishman stays home

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Roses are red, my name is Dave. This poem makes no sense, microwave

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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