i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the bat mobile? A: Robin get in the bat mobile.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy ? He didn't.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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