What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Stop Iran! We need the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you stop a gang of black people from raping a white woman? throw a basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -42

[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

did you stub your toe?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Want to hear a dead baby joke? Abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops