Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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The Big Bang Theory (the show).

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for grapes. The bartender explains to the duck that he does not sell grapes. Later that day, the bartender recounts the story to a friend; the friend advises the bartender to undergo psychological testing.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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