Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

25

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Barack Obama plays basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops