Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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Are you Drew?

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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