Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Penis

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Simba was moving slow,so I told him to MUFASA!!!

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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there are rumors about monkeys liking bananas but that is a common misconception because if you take bananas divided by elephant times chalkboards you find that they like 0.9 lead from pencils that is aged from 1927

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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