What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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You might be a Redneck...if your job requires you to work long hours out in the sun and you do not take advantage of sunscreen.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Whats worse than not coming up with an original anti joke? Nothing.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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