What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops