How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Holocaust jokes suck. Anne frankley, I won't stand for them

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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