how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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How old are you? 20

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Your mom is so fat, She should go to a doctor because her cholesterol is abnormally high.

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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