what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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