An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Worst joke ever

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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