Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Womens rights.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Knock knock *the family is on vacation and doesn't answer*

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

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Christmas was blonde that year and the lemon had several monkey lamps, so it asked, "Why are my toenails so radish-flavored?" There were no answers and many months passed by the Windows operating system like cars down a highway running over a family.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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