A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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Obama.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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What do you call an elephant on the moon? Dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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