How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Marla should be home by now, it's nearly 6." He was unaware he had lost his tractor until the next morning.

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

I hate blackniggers

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

Let's get some comments on this one! Everyone add a comment with a quote from a movie! I'll thumbs-up the best comments!

Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

Dubstep < Music

your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

Whats In My Trash? Bears

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

tims sty:)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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