A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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