A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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