How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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42

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Women's Rights

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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