Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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whats the capital of congo famine

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I drive in driveways. I recite in recitals. I play in plays. I park on parkways. My greenhouse is green. And my boxing ring is round. Why does everyone think I'm weird??

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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what is the color of a burp burple

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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love is a homeless guy searchin' for treasure in the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and even though he's heartbroken he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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