What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Q:Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Conrad Barry

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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