how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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I walked into a bar and it hurt because it was metal

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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The dewey decimal system

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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