What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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