Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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What's the difference between a duck, an engineer, and a leaf? There are many differences between these 3 that I will not list them all.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why did the aeroplane fall out of the sky? An ant jumped on it

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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What does a nun and a hat have in common? Size

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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