What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops