2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Girls soccer

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Why doe this filthy bitch take big dildos inside himself? Because he is gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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