What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Looks through the peephole.

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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your face

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops