How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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I have no ideas.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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I like school Said no one ever.

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Double-whammy

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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