Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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How can you tell if a duck is sleeping? Look at its eyes.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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