Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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