There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

What song does a bulimic person sing while on the toilet? Nothing Bulimic people don't poop.

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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