Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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lol

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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whats better than 24................. 25

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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