"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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Women's Rights

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Q: Why couldn't Sally ride her bike? A: because Sally has Cerebral Palsy.

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What happens if someones forgets to put the 'anti' next to 'joke.' It is taken by someone else and created into an anti Joke.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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