An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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