What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Roey Jegen

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Are you a human?

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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bitches be crafty.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Joe: it says gullible on the ceiling Jack: yes, I wrote it -by Ross

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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nickel back

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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