cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!" The Pole answers, "You are a very rude, disrespectful, and inappropriate child. Where are your parents?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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How do you get 100 Jews in a car? It is physically impossible to fit 100 full grown homosapians into a vehicle, therefore it will not work.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops