Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? They were all human beings

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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