THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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