How do you kill a blonde? Irreversibly damage her vital organs to the point where she loses consciousness and will never wake again.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Zach Barlow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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