- Anti Joke

Why did the man have 3 girlfriends? A: because he is a womanizer

What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

JFK

a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

Yo mamma so fat not even Dora can explore her

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

Whats the difference between babies and a dart board? Dart boards dont bleed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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