Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Wanna here a joke? Canadians.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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