What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the dog cross the road? He didn't, he got run over

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes black people kill other black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Sharvil has aids 4 times

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops