A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops