Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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