Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops