If you just read this, You're dead.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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