How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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why does little Lucy have no friends? because she is in a wheelchair

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Safe sex MR

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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hrih

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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