What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why was 6 afraid of 8 because 8 kidnap 7

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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