Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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