A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -37

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

look left ------------------------------------------------------> i bet you failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops