How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid the avoid the nuclear bomb at hiroshima

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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boobs

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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