Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +71

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You know what's natural? Bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Is your refrigerator running? If so, it sounds like you've got a well manufactured, correctly working appliance. If not, you might want to either have a technician come over and look at it or you should simply replace it with a working one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

justin beiber sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops