What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, i was dropped on my head as a baby, 978e456293&*(^$%ZYI467z57967454^&4543^%$54#%^*44jffdGHFYI

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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