What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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knock knock no ones home

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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no pun intended

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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