Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Smelly Indians.

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Fruitcake

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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pull my finger (farts)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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