A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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If youre African, why are you white?

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops