why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

Matt is a Duster!

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Did you hear about the guy that came out the closet while at school? Yeah, Dylan Hodge is a dick.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

Why does World of Warcraft advertise on Anti-Joke? Because World of Warcraft is funny in anticlimactic and alternative way

A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a nest of worms in your apple.

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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